Rev Fave

Feelings Are No Match For Faith

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In my feelings…

I felt a little anxious. Waking up at 5am with a sharp pain in my sternum that lasted until I got in the car to drive towards my office. By the time it dissapated, I realized it was my lactose intolerant stomach trying to digest the milk I had the night before. I also felt defeated about a friendship that went left overnight. My feelings told me that I didn’t need friends and life is less complicated without the issues of others. I felt angry about not getting enough sleep and not working out — despite the plethora of resources at my disposal.

In my FAITH…

The Word of God said not to worry about anything, but pray about EVERYTHING (Philippians 4:6). I shouldn’t feel worried when I know God has a plan for my life; thereby, I must have the health to see it through. The Word tells me that a wise man wins friends (Proverbs 11:30) and in my quest for his wisdom, I”m supposed to have friends and not always be alone. I can do all things through Christ (Philippians 4:13) and the Word reminds me that I need to seek God more diligently in order to receive the discipline needed to rest and exercise.

Getting Out of My Feelings

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I had to get out of my feelings. Everything about that place was erratic, fleeting and leaving me with consequences of longevity as a result of brevity in miscalculated decisions. That place had me all kinds of twisted; my feelings are not supposed to engulf me nor guide me towards any life decision of substance.

Although I feel these feelings, my faith polices them in a way where I MUST deny my feelings the power to govern my beliefs, what I speak, how I do and in what way I respond. Some days I do a better job than others. I tend to shut down when I’m in my feelings because the feelings usually leads to anger — followed by a cascade of defensive emotions.

In contrast, when I’m out of my feelings, I’m way out there to where I can seem to be the most desensitized, coldest person on earth. But I believe the most recurring feeling I feel is where I feel disposable to people who supposedly care about me. It has impacted how I interact and leaves me with a void of intimacy on any level, along with why I don’t smile.

There’s so much I need to change…or is it just that I need to revert?