For the past month, I’ve been immersed in the Book of Judges; with a primary focus on Samson, one of the strongest (and vulnerable) men in the Bible. As a Nazarite, he was set apart to fulfill God’s predestined purpose for his life. I am no Samson (with the exception of the long hair…lol) but I find myself set apart from my immediate surroundings. I don’t fit inside the cliques found in my church, at my place of employment or even within my own family.
I deleted the Group.Me app from my mobile devices. Originally downloaded to connect with young adults and musicians at church, it was relegated to a timesuck where the cliques forged a tighter bond of constant communication. Meanwhile, my wayward messages of encouragement seemed like more of an interruption in their current of thoughts.
The workspace is filled with hundreds of personalities confined to bizarre social constructs crippled by attempts at micromanagement and the incessant need to control other human beings. I’m immune to the tactics, but the cliques that are formed stay cool with me, even though they’re not welcoming.
I gave up on my family understanding me a long time ago. I believe they want the best for me; however, I believe their definition of “best” is vastly different from mine. When manual labor and acceptance of mediocrity is revered moreso than intellectual prowess and relentless pursuit of excellence…it makes for one lonely dude.
Nobody gets me…but God.
I believe I’m set apart for a purpose. My position places me on a path to gather experiences that will help me fulfill that purpose. I wish it wasn’t riddled with so much frustration. I wish I wasn’t surrounded by individuals who could care less about me, my life, my feelings, my goals and aspirations. I wish I could find consolation instead of a bombardment of narcissistic opportunists who overshadow the handful of true friends and family who wish me well.
I find peace in knowing God in interested in me and what I have to say. That reality quenches the dry, wasteland of thoughts that crackle with the lie that I’m alone. Because I’m not. I’m set apart. And you can watch God fulfill His purpose for my life from where you are.